March Madness Round 1 Day 2: FIIIIINNNSSS UUUUUPPP!!

Since LIU will be out of this tournament in 4.2 seconds, might as well give them the shine with the title and cover art today. I'm addicted to Fins Up. At this point, if you see me in public and yell Fins Up, I will go Fins Up without a doubt. It's muscle memory. Just don't proceed to ask me to then go Fins to the left or Fins to the right, because I may go full parrothead. RIP Jimmy Buffett. This blog is for you.

But as I write this VCU just pulled off an epic comeback and we're 12-3 so far in Day 1 and cruising into Day 2. The blog is hot. We've been hot before. We've had winning records by a good margin the past two years. But we've never come out of the gates like this. I expect some regression for sure, but boy is this fun.

Enough about me. March is about the kids. Let's get into Day 2.

Blog Record: 17-5

(Fun Challenge: Count the number of Jimmy Buffett song titles in the write ups)

Kentucky (7) vs Santa Clara (10)

Kentucky -3.5 O/U 159.5

This game is the epitome of a 7-10 matchup. Both teams have flaws, are perfectly mediocre in most metrics, and have not won with any consistency all year. It's kind of like a good high school football state championship game in Idaho. Sure, it will be a good game, but no one is having a future in the sport much long after. Just like how the winner here will be going home... Come Monday. I'll default to the better 3-pt shooting team with more efficiency and more depth. Let's ride, Broncos.

The Pick: Santa Clara +3.5

Texas Tech (5) vs Akron (12)

Texas Tech -7.5 O/U 156.5

The infamous 5-12 matchup. It happens every year like clock-work and we've come to expect it. As James Franklin would say, "It's like beating Akron". But will the Zips be the team to deliver this year? Maybe. This is the tightest spread of any 5-12 game, so it would not be a bad bet. Akron is top 5 in offensive efficiency, are top 10 in makes from beyond the arc, and definitely have the style to pull it off here. It would not be as big of an upset as losing to UCLA on the road, James, but it would still raise some eyebrows. I'm not saying they get it done, but they do give it a hell of an effort.

The Pick: Akron +7.5 and Over 156.5

LIU (16) vs Arizona (1)

Arizona -30.5 O/U 150.5

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNSSSSSS UUUUUUPPPPPPP!!! I want to do it. I really do. The high school gym, the free tickets, the viral chant started by two random guys with no affiliation to the university. LIU are the perfect Cinderella candidate and everything that makes this tournament special. But not so fast. Unfortunately they will get curb stomped. Sorry Shark Nation, I love you, but this could get very ugly. Getting drummed by 40+ at 10:30am local time will have LIU fans hanging their heads heading to the bar saying... It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

The Pick: Arizona -30.5

Virginia (3) vs Wright State (14)

Virginia -17.5 O/U 144.5

I searched high. I searched low. But there is not a damn thing I like about this Wright State team. Normally this is a perfect spot to zag while others zig, but I am just not seeing it. They don't defend well, they don't play with urgency, and they don't shoot the 3 at an above average rate. It's the kind of team that doesn't even have 1 of the ingredients you need when trying to pull an upset. Virginia isn't the Virginia of old with totals hovering around Paul Skene's fastball velocity, but they still defend very well. This one is over early, and foot off the gas in the second half.

The Pick: Under 144.5

Iowa State (2) vs Tennessee State (15)

Iowa State -24.5 O/U 148.5

As I'm writing this, it's 5:45pm Central and the blog is 9-1 so far on Day 1. F-----g Awesome, but oh boy am I scared for a regression. You know who should not be scared? Iowa State. They are a trendy pick to cut down the nets in Indy in a few weeks, and with good reason. On the other side, 5 players of Tennessee State's 7-man rotation turn the ball over more than they assist. Which isn't too bad right? Well they're playing a smothering defense that forces the most turnovers of any power-4 team. I don't think the Tigers score enough to hit the number. Yes, the Tigers are Tennessee State. If that's not news to you... respect.

The Pick: Under 148.5

Alabama (4) vs Hofstra (13)

Alabama -11.5 O/U 158.5

Last year I picked Alabama to hit the over every round before I even saw the number. I'm pretty sure that worked out well for us (i'm too lazy to go back and check) but honestly, who cares. It made it fun. Watching this team like a drunk college kid at his first hockey game yelling "shoot it!" every 5 seconds is kind of fun. This year, Alabama still plays at the fastest pace of anyone in the tournament and attempt the most 3's of any team in the country. Yes, Hofstra likes to slow it down, and blah blah blah... who cares. A number here under 160 is BAIT. Well, call me Big Mouth Billy Bass and I'm swallowing the hook. Take me to the river.... drop me on the OVER.

The Pick: Over 158.5

Villanova (8) vs Utah State (9)

Utah State -1.5 O/U 146.5

Utah State's coach Jerrod Calhoun can COACH. The guy took Youngstown St from 8-24 to back to back 22+ win seasons, and is in his season NCAA tournament in his second year at Utah State. And he was PISSSED about this seeding. I'm not one to judge, but I would rather run into a lot of people in a dark alley at night before I choose a guy who spent 5 years coaching D2 hoops in Fairmont, West Virginia ($20 if you can find that on a map) and is on a Warpath. And Villanova has to fly all the way across the country to play this game? The Wildcats will have Changes in Latitudes, but I doubt the Aggies have Changes in Attitudes. Most games are about numbers, this one is about will. Roll aggies.

The Pick: Utah State -1.5

Tennessee (6) vs Miami (11)

Tennessee -11.5 O/U 148.5

Out of respect for the Redhawks and their incredible season, I listened to their wish and left the in/of/at Ohio off of the Miami in this headline... Annnnnnd I'm out of respect. Whoops. The thing is, I don't respect Tennessee that much either. Sure Action Bronson fixed the game between Kentucky and Miami of Ohio (check the bio), it's just a shame that was 13 years ago and the wrong SEC team. Nefarious activity aside, I don't see the Redhawks pulling off the upset here or the Vols running away with it early. However, Miami are top 5 in effective field goal % and top 10 in offensive efficiency, so I do back them to keep this tight or even sneak a back door cover in.

The Pick: Over Miami +11.5

Clemson (8) vs Iowa (9)

Iowa -2.5 O/U 129.5

Ughhhh. Ick. Yawn. Gross. Do we have to? The whitest school in America who is most famous for not scoring points in football games vs an actual cult in the Carolinas. I love March, so I will watch. But I will do so begrudgingly. It's the kind of game where after watching you walk away saying My Feet Stink, My Head Hurts, and I Don't Love Jesus (sorry Dabo). Most of the time we look at offensive numbers to make a decision, but the key here might be looking solely at defense. Why? Because it's fricken Iowa. Cooper Dejean. Kirk Ferentz. Corn. Defense. Well, sorry Hawkeyes, the D favors Clemson.

The Pick: Clemson +2.5

St. John's (5) vs Northern Iowa (12)

St Johns -9.5 O/U 131.5

St Johns does not have many of the traits we like to lean on in this blog. But, with my hair slicked back, I look like Rick Pitino, three... I'm not gonna finish that lyric. There are kids reading this (there aren't). Regardless, I do love me some Pitino. If it weren't for a $100,000 check from Adidas and you know, the incident at the dorms, allegedly, he might have the stats to be the greatest college coach of all time. Both teams are elite on defense, and Northern Iowa shoots the ball significantly better than St Johns. However, you got to consider the competition. Rick will get it done, I just think it's a tight game and all defense.

The Pick: Northern Iowa +9.5 and Under 131.5

UC Los Angeles (6) vs UCF (11)

UCLA -5.5 O/U 152.5

Having to write up the bRuins while I'm experiencing the utter shock of hearing the UT band playing "Neck" is pure torture. If you're not an HBCU or LSU, you should not play Neck. End of story. That's downright embarrassing. I will be picking against Texas regardless tomorrow. That's indefensible. Speaking of arrogant, annoying, and ears bleeding: Mick Croning and UCLA. God is that wish.com Mr. Clean perfect for Westwood High. Brash, loud, not someone you ever want to be in the same room as. Just like their alumni. However, we are here to pick winners, and the gutty little Bruins will get one here. And good for them. As a school who hasn't won anything in basketball in over 30 years, they can enjoy a nice first round win.

The Pick: UC Los Angeles -5.5

Purdue (2) vs Queens (15)

Purdue -25.5 O/U 162.5

If Coming to America were filmed in March of 2026, Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall might've ended up in North Carolina. "Queens!". That's a funny thought to distract me from the fact the GOSH DARNIT IT'S STUPID PURDUE AGAIN. Sheesh. I cannot shake these guys. Death, Taxes, Matt Painter is scaringly accurate, and I hate all three of those certainties. I swore off picking Purdue in any way shape or form last year, but I cannot deny that this team has a TON of experience, and a point guard who can control a game and drain 3s. And opponnents shoot 53.4% against Queens. Which doesn't sound terrible until you take in to account their competition and that number still ranks as the 337th in the country. Ouch. Purdue rolls and I'll have to wait to fade these clowns.

The Pick: Purdue -25.5

Florida (1) vs Prairie View A&M (15)

Florida -35.5 O/U 155.5

I did not know Prairie View was in Texas until just now. And I live in Texas. Yes, their name is a mouthful, but it used to be Prairie View Normal and Industrial College. So, could be worse. They also have a tradition where they ride horses 60 miles to Houston every year for the Houston Rodeo. That's pretty cool. I'm afraid if I try and find another fun fact about them though, they will be out of the tournament by the time I do. Florida puts up NUMBIES on bad teams, but they also don't play that great of defense against them. 35.5 is a massive number, but 155.5 is not. Let's Ride.

The Pick: Over 155.5

Kansas (4) vs Cal Baptist (13)

Kansas -14.5 O/U 137.5

Darryn Peterson. Will he? Won't he? That is the question. Right now all signs say yes, but you never know. Let's hope he does, because when you're on your 29th game in 2-days, you appreciate something special standing out like the Last Mango in Paris. Sure Cal Baptist got here on good defense, but Kansas and Peterson are a whole different tasks, and Cal Baptist does not have the offensive firepower to keep up. Scoring stays low here and Kansas cruises.

The Pick: Kansas -14.5 and Under 137.5

UCONN (2) vs Furman (15)

UCONN -20.5 O/U 136.5

I want to believe in UCONN. I really do. They are just not the teams of old and commit too many turnovers. That will show it's head in this tournament soon, I'm just not sure it will in this spot. We all remember Furman from recent March Magic, but I don't think they are repeating here. They were the 6-seed in their conference tournament and do not have any metrics that jump off the page. Huskies cruise easily and Hurley continues drinking his, um, interesting colored drink.

The Pick: UCONN -20.5

Miami (7) vs Missouri (10)

Miami -1.5 O/U 147.5

Alas we have made it. The final game of these two glorious days. I imagine this is what any sailor feels like when they find that One Particular Harbor. Just a reminder, call your loved ones tomorrow morning. Because if you're anything like me, you've gone Incommunicado the last few days. They'll understand. As for this game both teams primarily score inside the arc and turn the ball over quite a bit. It could be a slog that hits a few 2-3 minute scoreless streaks. And we only need a couple. For the second day in a row, we are taking an under while we sleep

The Pick: Under 147.5

We did it! I'm outta here....